Desmodromia: Abandon All Hope Ye Who Enter Here!

So there it was, the Ducati SportClassic Sport 1000 Biposto. I had seen it online and its lines made me squeal like a little girl. Its long sultry tank, its smooth black body, that tight rounded ass. Pure beauty. I. Must. Have. One.

My father Ben was visiting one weekend and just for shits and giggles I said, "Hey, let's got to the Ducati place." My pops was game so we drove on over just to look at the bikes. We pull up and walked in. Front and center in the showroom is a shiny black Sport 1000 Biposto. It was even better in the flesh; taking on the spirit of a thoroughbred horse. You could imagine it snorting fire or tearing ass around some mountain roads.

Within about 5 minutes or less a young salesman named Adam walked up to greet us. He politely asked how we were doing and if we could use any help. Jokingly I said, "Yeah, how much to get into one of these." and pointed at the Sport 1000. He looked at me and said, "Let's find out, come with me." I thought what the hell, I'll check it out and see how much I need to save for a down on it. He is truly the minion of Satan.

We sat at his desk in the middle of the showroom. He had me fill out some forms and then introduced me to the money man Matt. Adam handed off the forms to Matt who then hustled me to his office. At this point I felt it getting serious. I really only wanted to get an idea of what I'd have to plunk down so I could save my scheckels. It honestly made me a bit nervous.

Matt handed me more paperwork, which I filled out. He feverishly started running numbers on his magic computer machine. He asked how much I wanted to pay per month. I did some down and dirty calculations and told him. In a few minutes he said, "Ok, here is where we are and it looks good. I have to confirm everything. It'll take a bit of time to hear back, when I do I'll give you a call."

Huh? What the fuck? Uh, I just went in to look and you mean I'm going to walk out with my Sport 1000!? Yup. My dad and I left. I was feeling giddy and extremely nervous. I had just pretty much pulled the trigger on buying a gawddamned Du-fawkin'-cati! I got home, went to the back deck where my fiancee Tess was smoking and joined her. I looked at her and said, "Guess what?" "What?" She replied. I stammered, "Well...uh...I'm getting a Ducati..." She looked at me and said something to the effect of, "Really? Cool. Good for you. As long as you can pay your bills then go for it. You deserve it." Now that my friends, was music to my ears.

A couple hours later Matt called and said everything was ready to go. Come back in and sign the papers. I did and the rest is history.

Along with the bike I bought a Dianese Ducati 80s leather jacket with armor (very important). I got that particular jacket because the font was designed by none other than famed designer Giorgetto Guigario (think Alfa Romeo GT/GTV/GTV6 & Brera, Lotus Esprit, BMW 3200 CS, multiple Maseratis...). I also bought a pair of extremely nice Dianese leather gloves and a Arai RX-7 Corsair helmet all thanks to Adrienne. I did not opt for any mods to the bike itself mostly because it was out of my budget. So no Termis, no 14 tooth sprocket, SpeedyMoto bling, or fancy aftermarket mirrors. This stuff will come later.

So there you go, the story of my entrance into the realm of Desmodromia. I could not look back.